I had just finished marching in New York’s Pride Parade with my queer Korean drumming group. We marched down Fifth Avenue for hours, taking up space and making noise in ways that Asians in America are often expected not to do. It was an ecstatic experience.
Afterward, we took a sweaty group photo and I posted it on Instagram with the caption, “my badass queer Korean drumming family.” Soon after that, my mom texted my sister a photo from the march, asking her (in Korean), “Your brother’s not gay, is he?”
Everywhere I turn – nightlife, zines, Instagram, my local coffee shop – I see queer Asians flaunting their attitude, their platform heels, and a smoldering, IDGAF look that inspires me to be louder, prouder, and fearless.
But when I leave my New York City bubble, it’s a different story.
Filmmaker Patrick G. Lee wasn’t expecting to come across any references to queerness while walking through New York’s Museum of Chinese in America.
A new film reminds families they “don’t have to choose between loving their children and being faithful to their culture or to their religion.”
“When I first moved to New York, it was an unspoken thing where, like, I’d be interested in someone and they’re like, ‘Oh, you’re cute … but, you’re Asian,’” says Nick Kim of his experience of racism on gay apps.
Growing up, I never saw myself fully reflected in the people around me — either my Asian-ness or my queerness was always missing.
